Game of Thrones Power Rankings: The Rains of Castamere

red-wedding-tnwSo … that happened. Thrones is now three-for-three with mind-blowing ninth episodes, following the stunning, gut-wrenching, did-they-really-just-do-that?!? events of the Red Wedding. We try to keep things spoiler-free above the page break, but let’s just say: We’ll have fewer characters to rank moving forward. *Sniff*

Our rankings are based on developments from each episode in particular, and take factors such as likeability, power and general character attractiveness into consideration. At the end of the day, these are wholly subjective, so if you disagree with any of our assessments — and you’d be wrong — state your case in the comments section below.

One last very important order of business: SPOILER ALERT: The following entries contain information from the most recent episode of Game of Thrones: “The Rains of Castamere” (Season 3, Episode 9).

Not in the episode: Jaime/Brienne, Tyrion, Sansa, Tywin, Cersei, The Tyrells, Stannis, Melisandre, Theon, Mystery Dude, The Brotherhood

Read the full post »

Game of Thrones Power Rankings: The Bear and the Maiden Fair

jaime-jumping-topper

Heading into the latest episode of Game of Thrones, we at TNW had hoped for an infusion of bears, an excess of dragon shots and the introduction of really, really ridiculously good-looking babies. And HBO came through in a big way! With the season past its midway point, the plot is really starting to thicken, proving plenty of fodder for the newest edition of our Power Rankings.

Our rankings are based on developments from each episode in particular, and take factors such as likeability, power and general character attractiveness into consideration. At the end of the day, these are wholly subjective, so if you disagree with any of our assessments — and you’d be wrong — state your case in the comments section below.

One last very important order of business: SPOILER ALERT: The following entries contain information from the most recent episode of Game of Thrones: “The Bear and the Maiden Fair” (Season 3, Episode 7).

Read the full post »

Game of Thrones Power Rankings: The Climb

jon-ygritte-the-climb-tnwLike great dialogue? Like action-packed ice climbing scenes? Like circuitous torture? You’ve come to the right place! The sixth episode of Game of Thrones‘ third seasons wasn’t as jaw-dropping as the fourth and fifth, but it gave us plenty to chew on in this week’s Power Rankings.

Our rankings are based on developments from each episode in particular, and take factors such as likeability, power and general character attractiveness into consideration. At the end of the day, these are wholly subjective, so if you disagree with any of our assessments — and you’d be wrong — state your case in the comments section below.

One last very important order of business: SPOILER ALERT: The following entries contain information from the most recent episode of Game of Thrones: “The Climb” (Season 3, Episode 6).

Read the full post »

Game of Thrones Power Rankings: Kissed by Fire

Tywin may be the world's worst father, but damn if he doesn't have great legs.

Tywin may be the world’s worst father, but damn if he doesn’t have great legs.

Lots of movement in this week’s Power Rankings, fueled by a spike in sexual activity and at least five naked bums. Plot lines are moving quickly and yes, Tywin is still the world’s biggest dickhead father.

Our rankings are based on developments from each episode in particular, and take factors such as likeability, power and general character attractiveness into consideration. At the end of the day, these are wholly subjective, so if you disagree with any of our assessments — and you’d be wrong — state your case in the comments section below.

One last very important order of business: SPOILER ALERT: The following entries contain information from the most recent episode of Game of Thrones: “Kissed By Fire” (Season 3, Episode 5).

Read the full post »

Game of Thrones Power Rankings: And Now His Watch Is Ended

dany 600 2

Great episode this week, especially since we at The Night’s Watch are officially obsessed with Dany. We’ll get into it below in the rankings, but “And Now His Watch Is Ended” (Episode 4) was the best of the season. We lost a key character or two and had pretty good plot movement on several storylines. Oh, and Tywin is still a huge a dick to his children and the legend of Sex God Pod continues to grow.

Our rankings are based on developments from each episode in particular, and take factors such as likeability, power and general character attractiveness into consideration. At the end of the day, these are wholly subjective, so if you disagree with any of our assessments — and you’d be wrong — state your case in the comments section below.

One last very important order of business: SPOILER ALERT: The following entries contain information from the most recent episode of Game of Thrones: “And Now His Watch Is Ended” (Season 3, Episode 4).

Read the full post »

Game of Thrones Power Rankings: Walk of Punishment

tnw-s3-e3We’ve got to hand it to the Game of Thrones folks: They’ve perfected the science of setting the stage in a season’s first two hours, only to ratchet up the drama in the third installment. “Walk of Punishment” was no exception, as it slapped viewers across the face with a heavy dose of intrigue and plot advancement. So high five, Thrones folks. Our expectations are a fragile egg, but your palm is a safe nest.

OK, enough hand jokes.

Our rankings are based on developments from each episode in particular, and take factors such as likeability, power and general character attractiveness into consideration. At the end of the day, these are wholly subjective, so if you disagree with any of our assessments — and you’d be wrong — state your case in the comments section below.

One last very important order of business: SPOILER ALERT: The following entries contain information from the most recent episode of Game of Thrones: “Walk of Punishment” (Season 3, Episode 3).

Read the full post »

Game of Thrones Power Rankings: Dark Wings, Dark Words

margaery-joffrey-episode2Season 3 of Game of Thrones continued with “Dark Wings, Dark Words,” and much to our dismay there were no dragons! If you’re as crushed by this as we were, this Time Warner Cable commercial might bring you back from the ledge. While the second episode lacked three of our top four from last week’s rankings, it also introduced some new characters. The biggest takeaway: Don’t get between a Tyrell and her cheese.

Our rankings are based on developments from each episode in particular, and take factors such as likeability, power and general character attractiveness into consideration. A character must have screen time to make the list. At the end of the day, these are wholly subjective, so if you disagree with any of our assessments — and you’d be wrong — state your case in the comments section below.

One last very important order of business: SPOILER ALERT: The following entries contain information from the most recent episode of Game of Thrones: “Dark Wings, Dark Words” (Season 3, Episode 2).

Read the full post »

Peter ‘Drunklage’ Stops By SNL’s Weekend Update As Drunk Brother-In-Law


Melissa McCarthy hosted SNL this weekend, but there was a more noteworthy cameo for our purposes: Peter Dinklage Drunklage stopped by Weekend Update with Seth Meyers as Drunk Uncle’s brother in-law. Bobby Moynihan’s Drunk Uncle routine is increasingly becoming one of my favorite recurring characters on SNL, and this week featured several Game of Thrones hooks.

First, Drunk Uncle nails a King Joffrey impersonation at the 2:40 mark of the above video, performing the Westerosi classic “I’m a little jerk King” song and accompanying nipple tassel dance. So not only does Drunk Uncle watch Thrones, but he does so with his brother-in-law, Peter Drunklage.

Honestly, it’s crazy to say that TNW’s favorite Lannister might actually be too good of an actor for this. There’s a real chance Dinklage was actually drunk for this sketch, which made it all the better. We’ll be back shortly with our Game of Thrones Power Rankings, but hopefully the above video satisfies your Peter Dinklage fix until then.

Game of Thrones characters reimagined in Seinfeld, Arrested Development, Mad Men

By CW

We’ve all played that game around the office: If my coworkers, family or friends were characters from Game of Thrones, who would they be? Well, the folks over at Vulture took this thinking to a new and awesome level, enlisting an artist to reimagine GoT characters into some of TV’s most beloved personalities from Seinfeld, Arrested Development and Mad Men. TNW offers some thoughts and grades on each rendering:

Seinfeld

Here we have The Hound as Kramer, Samwell Tarly as George, Dany as Elaine and Tyrion as Jerry. Let’s break this down from left to right.

Read the full post »

Game of Thrones Power Rankings, Season 3 Premiere: Valar Dohaeris

game-of-thrones-s3e1-power-rankings-

Welcome to the Season 3 premiere edition of the Game of Thrones Power Rankings, which signals an end to HBO’s shitty season (see: Girls) and a return to Westeros, where dragons, Daenerys Targaryen and dragons all exist. Our latest glimpse into the realm introduced several new characters, a batch of fresh storylines and the revelation that Tywin Lannister is indeed the world’s worst father.

Our rankings are based on developments from each episode in particular, and take factors such as likeability, power and general character attractiveness into consideration. At the end of the day, these are wholly subjective, so if you disagree with any of our assessments — and you’d be wrong — state your case in the comments section below. You can track each character’s movement by looking at the Season 2 finale Power Rankings.

One last very important order of business: SPOILER ALERT: The following entries contain information from the most recent episode of Game of Thrones: “Valar Dohaeris” (Season 3, Episode 1).

Read the full post »

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.