The new season of South Park kicks off Wednesday, Sept. 26 on Comedy Central. And while we don’t know plotlines for any of the episodes yet, we do know one celebrity/athlete who will be making a guest cameo.
Trey Parker and Matt Stone are known Broncos fans, buy what do they want Woodley for? With all the drama in the NFL and sports and just the world in general these days, there’s a million ways they could go. Here are three possibilities:
1) Boys take up football: In the absolutely awesome Bat Dad episode, the kids take up baseball and absolutely hate it, going as far as trying to lose on purpose to end their season. (Aside: Randy Marsh is one of my favorite SP characters, and his fighting during every game stands as one of his all-time great performances, ranking up there with Creme Fraiche and Broadway Bro Down). In the season premier, will they like football any better?
2) Replacement refs: The new refs in the NFL really blow ass (said in best Cartman voice), maybe the school teachers go on strike and the replacement teachers are totally incompetent. Enter Woodley, who has been fined many times by the NFL for hard hits and knows a thing or two (or doesn’t, for that matter) about dealing with authority figures who won’t get off your case. I’m envisioning an awesome rampage of Woodley splattering substitute teachers’ brains all over chalkboards with a montage of helmet-to-skull tackles. Probably excessive, but South Park doesn’t tread lightly on anything.
3) Just chillin’ in Denver: The Steelers opened their season in Denver, so maybe Woodley is just around to kick it in South Park and get into shenanigans with the boys.
The bottom line: This could go in a bazillion directions. Yes, I know I said a million above, but speculating brought me to the realization that I need a fake number to stress the magnitude of possibilities. Deal with it.